Trauma-Informed Mentoring
I went to an event meant for mentors of elementary school children! It was a lot of old people. The event was at the middle school, and hosted by Susie Merrick, who really likes what Big Picture does. She was super happy to see me.
The speaker was Alex Shevrin Venet, who does a lot of work in various schools and places teaching about things like trauma-informed practices in schools. She was SUPER cool and interesting, and I totally have a crush on what she does with her life. I want to learn everything I can from this woman. So. Cool. She started off by having us tell our table-mates the highlight from our day (and the worst part too) and then allowed us a little wiggle time to get our bodies ready to focus. I really liked that even though most of the people attending weren't in school still, the focus on getting ourselves ready to learn was still there.
She gave us a quick talk on the basics of trauma. Most of what she talked about I already knew, but here's a summarized version of her summarized version. Events can be traumatic for different people based on lots of factors, but mainly a persons ability to cope. A car crash might be a traumatic event for you, but not for your friend who was also involved in the crash. If you get pulled under a wave swimming in the ocean at age 2, that's going to be very different than how getting pulled under would feel for a professional surfer. All people are affected by trauma differently. In VT, 45% of children will likely have a traumatic event happen before the age of 18. Some signs of a trauma affected student might be anxiety, depression, hyper-vigilance, anger/aggression, under or over reacting, issues regulation emotions, perfectionism, and other things that I'm probably forgetting! Alex talked about how in schools, the "problem children" are usually the ones affected by trauma- the ones that are freaking out over "nothing" are usually hyper-vigilant and therefor are in fight/flight mode due to perceived threats. The ones with issues staying on track and paying attention might struggle with memory issues associated with trauma.
We had a discussion with our tables about one of the "12 core concepts for understanding traumatic stress responses in childhood". Then, Alex talked about 3 key strategies to mentoring kids with past trauma. The first strategy is hope. Many kids that experience trauma don't have a super optimistic outlook for the future, so she talked about the importance in believing in kids and helping them meet their goals. Showing kids their value and ways that they contribute to their communities is also important.
Role clarity is the 2nd concept of trauma-informed mentoring, and we talked a lot about boundaries. Alex mentioned that a lot of kids with traumatic experiences (especially relational ones) have a hard time having healthy relationships, and that setting boundaries and giving these kids a healthy relationship is super important. Alex also talked about the importance of using boundaries to make sure that you can take care of yourself, but she phrased the whole conversation as "role clarity" which actually felt a lot better to me than how "boundaries" does, because role clarity implies that along with boundaries, reasons and ways that you can be there for someone is also discussed and clarified. She also had a fantastic metaphor about when you can handle something by yourself and when you need to bring in an expert- it's like owning a house. You can probably change a lightbulb, but if your basement is flooding, it's probably time to call in some help. When making decisions about if you can help kids, it's good to think about whether or not trying to help will end up hurting either you or the child.
The last piece is empathy and positive regard. A mentors role (at least in this school district) is to be a safe person who accepts the child no matter what, and doesn't give up, even if the kid is awful. She said even if the mentee refuses to talk other than one word answers, and sits on his phone the whole time, the mentor should still say goodbye with something like "It was great to see you, and I really enjoy talking with you."
We were then given examples of situations that a mentor might encounter with their mentee, and discussed the best technique to use. I think then she wrapped up with a summary and her contact info and that was it?
Overall, really cool night! I really enjoyed it. The speaker was great, and the content was interesting. I think trauma-informed practices in schools would make an interesting research paper topic, and will maybe write it someday.
The speaker was Alex Shevrin Venet, who does a lot of work in various schools and places teaching about things like trauma-informed practices in schools. She was SUPER cool and interesting, and I totally have a crush on what she does with her life. I want to learn everything I can from this woman. So. Cool. She started off by having us tell our table-mates the highlight from our day (and the worst part too) and then allowed us a little wiggle time to get our bodies ready to focus. I really liked that even though most of the people attending weren't in school still, the focus on getting ourselves ready to learn was still there.
She gave us a quick talk on the basics of trauma. Most of what she talked about I already knew, but here's a summarized version of her summarized version. Events can be traumatic for different people based on lots of factors, but mainly a persons ability to cope. A car crash might be a traumatic event for you, but not for your friend who was also involved in the crash. If you get pulled under a wave swimming in the ocean at age 2, that's going to be very different than how getting pulled under would feel for a professional surfer. All people are affected by trauma differently. In VT, 45% of children will likely have a traumatic event happen before the age of 18. Some signs of a trauma affected student might be anxiety, depression, hyper-vigilance, anger/aggression, under or over reacting, issues regulation emotions, perfectionism, and other things that I'm probably forgetting! Alex talked about how in schools, the "problem children" are usually the ones affected by trauma- the ones that are freaking out over "nothing" are usually hyper-vigilant and therefor are in fight/flight mode due to perceived threats. The ones with issues staying on track and paying attention might struggle with memory issues associated with trauma.
We had a discussion with our tables about one of the "12 core concepts for understanding traumatic stress responses in childhood". Then, Alex talked about 3 key strategies to mentoring kids with past trauma. The first strategy is hope. Many kids that experience trauma don't have a super optimistic outlook for the future, so she talked about the importance in believing in kids and helping them meet their goals. Showing kids their value and ways that they contribute to their communities is also important.
Role clarity is the 2nd concept of trauma-informed mentoring, and we talked a lot about boundaries. Alex mentioned that a lot of kids with traumatic experiences (especially relational ones) have a hard time having healthy relationships, and that setting boundaries and giving these kids a healthy relationship is super important. Alex also talked about the importance of using boundaries to make sure that you can take care of yourself, but she phrased the whole conversation as "role clarity" which actually felt a lot better to me than how "boundaries" does, because role clarity implies that along with boundaries, reasons and ways that you can be there for someone is also discussed and clarified. She also had a fantastic metaphor about when you can handle something by yourself and when you need to bring in an expert- it's like owning a house. You can probably change a lightbulb, but if your basement is flooding, it's probably time to call in some help. When making decisions about if you can help kids, it's good to think about whether or not trying to help will end up hurting either you or the child.
The last piece is empathy and positive regard. A mentors role (at least in this school district) is to be a safe person who accepts the child no matter what, and doesn't give up, even if the kid is awful. She said even if the mentee refuses to talk other than one word answers, and sits on his phone the whole time, the mentor should still say goodbye with something like "It was great to see you, and I really enjoy talking with you."
We were then given examples of situations that a mentor might encounter with their mentee, and discussed the best technique to use. I think then she wrapped up with a summary and her contact info and that was it?
Overall, really cool night! I really enjoyed it. The speaker was great, and the content was interesting. I think trauma-informed practices in schools would make an interesting research paper topic, and will maybe write it someday.
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